Never knowing what's around the corner -
But you do.
Never understanding what the point is -
But you do.
Never seeing past my own confusion -
But you do.
Never grasping the direction we're heading -
But you do.

The past is spread out behind me
Its snakes and ladders and swirling labyrinths available for contemplation,
But I can't make head nor tail of even this.
I know me less than when we began this journey,
But I trust you more.
Because you understand my past, my future, and the confusion and mess that is my present.

Untravelled paths lay ahead for miles and years,
I could go anywhere.
But planned from the moment time began is the road you laid out for me,
And I can see the one step ahead of me through bleary eyes,
But no more.
The days when I feel your push are the good ones
Though they seem few and far between.

I yearn to know your mind more and where I'm headed.
I hate to feel as lost as I am now.
And I'd give almost anything to inject some clarity into the murky paintwater my life appears to be,
To place some peace into the darkest part of the jar,
And to enjoy the brighter without regret.

29th July 2006